From a two man prison cell to a five man palace.

I’ve not been to many biking events so I’m on a steep learning curve.

I was persuaded by a friend to go to The Farmyard – a MAG biking event at Helmsley which involved camping.
So, off to the shops for camping gear – well not really the shops – it was more Ebay surfing.
Camp bed – already had.
Sleeping bag – already had.
Tent – needed.

So it was on to the WEB.  Hmmmm, perhaps a two man tent would be a good idea – more space for me and my kit.  Bought a Gelert, single pole two man tent.  Excellent quality and easy to erect.

Having loaded the bike Thursday evening off to my friends house 6.15am Friday morning for bacon butties and coffee.  Four of us set off to meet a fifth bike at Ron Perry’s.  We got as far as the Wynyard slip road and the fifth bike pealed off to ‘who knows where’.  We learned later that the rider and his pillion thought the other had picked up their tickets for the event from the computer desk.  Oooops!

Two of our party of four (should have been five bikes – see above) shot off at mega revs while the two old, I mean older and more sensible, riders settled down to a steady 65/70ish ride to Helmsley.  Don’t know where the fast guys went but we arrived about the same time.

Picked our spot on site, near a water point – makes early morning washing a breeze – and pitched the tents.
The tent was easy, the camp bed was a fight which, eventually, I won.

Now it was time to sit and watch other arrivals.

One group arrived about an hour after us, rode in behind our tents and one poor unfortunate forgot the rule about what to do when you come to a stop – PUT A FOOT/LEG DOWN.  Ah well, friends to the rescue and leave the helmet ON to hide the blushes.  Honest, we did NOT laugh even though it was one of the fairer sex.  ROFLMAO.
Sorry ladies, the only two lie downs I saw all weekend were not rufty, tufty men. Thankfully they were both at very, very, very slow speed.  Of course as you’ve probably noticed, that’s just about my best speed.

Round about 11ish we were off into the compound to explore and find some grub.  New to me but probably not to rally regulars what an Aladdin’s Cave of goodies.  Fantastic selection, Ebay comparable prices – no wonder Linda took my wallet and cards off me before I left home.
Friday afternoon I was able to appreciate Vodka and Red Bull for the first time.
Friday evening took me back a year or two or three to the mad music Rock era.
The Red Bull must have an evil ingredient cos by 10.30pm I was in my pit.

That’s when I realised that my pit was just like when I worked underground on a 15” face.  A two man, single pole tent is small – in fact it’s too small.
A camp bed is not the most comfortable of places to lay your bones when knackered.
Note book out, buy a bigger tent and a blowy up bed.

The facilities and activities organised for this biking weekend were first class.
You’ve all been there so I don’t need to elaborate – it’s only new if you’re new.
Of course the weekend was spoiled by those lack lustre footballers we call the ENGLAND team.  What an overpaid shower – I got better value from the on-site Oasis Shower facilities.  At least I think that was their name but by Saturday I was probably too Red Bulled to remember.

Photos of the two man cell may follow – if I can ever find a space small enough to erect the ‘tent’.  See above.
My ‘new’ five man palace will definitely be shown.  See below.
Get your own ‘blowy up bed’ cos you’re not sharing mine.

No comments on the ten minutes after midnight wet ‘t’ shirt competition other than to say – I LOST.
But then the winner was a blonde and I’m brunette, partly bald and an A cup.

Did I enjoy my weekend?  Most certainly YES.
Will I do it again? Definitely.

Wonder if the BMF at Kelso will be anything like?

Guess I’ll find out in about 8 days time.