August Bank Holiday Sunday Rideout to Kielder
or the tale of the panda and the prostitute

The forecast being encouraging and what with everybody else being in Cornwall or France or someplace else, a few of us accepted Keith’s kind offer of a rideout to Kielder. Actually it was Rob’s idea, but in the event he went someplace else too.

The plan was to meet up at Durham services at 930 for the Teessiders and then join with the Northumbrians at Hexham at 1030 (less Rob of course … see above). Being from neither county and not being up early enough anyway, I opted to scoot across to the Hexham-car-park-with-the-café-at-the-top.
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The sun was bright, traffic quite light although the wind was a bit cool. That’s why I carry an old fleece in my panniers - no problem. In the event I got there before anyone else, topped up the tank (I recall they don’t sell petrol in most of Northumberland on a Sunday) and secured a cup of tea from the café-with-the-car-park-at-the-bottom. Eventually Keith and 4 others showed up, so we all had a cuppa together on the veranda of the café-with-……… etc whilst Bryan entertained us with an amusing anecdote about a panda and a prostitute whilst Harry told us some trucker’s tales.

 

 

2The plan was to go up to Kielder the long way round, via Scotland, stopping at the Byrness café to meet up with Will who was having trouble with his battery – well it’s a Suzuki innit?  After a ‘leisurely’ ride up there, being stuck behind a yellow Fiat that clearly was not in any sort of hurry at all, we got another cup of tea and awaited Will,  .. and awaited … and awaited for about an hour and a half.. He had apparently tried to call us on his mobile, but that was having battery trouble too! Will finally made it and then got out his packed lunch, did some running repairs and had a fag or three.

So, after another await we all saddled up and headed north into Scotland through some wonderful countryside, over Carter Bar and then left into some other road that only Keith would know, that would take us back to Kielder. Brill route as usual Keith, wonderful scenery, totally wasted on the scotch of course, not much traffic and a clear run down to Kielder.

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That place was crowded, at least the car park was, so we parked up in a conveniently located fire assembly point. Harry was by this time ready to eat a Harley so we left Will in charge of the bikes and went off to score some scran.
Unfortunately they don’t seem to cater for hungry bikers there so we had to queue up behind all these poncy car drivers at the restaurant just to get a coffee and Kit Kat. Love that health food! Harry had to be satisfied with a half dozen Mars bars and a small tourist!

 

 

After that and a heavy download, which made me feel sorry for the next person to enter that cubicle, we all hit the road again back home. Lovely weather, nearly 200 miles of biking nirvana over the best countryside in the UK, a few laughs, good company. Things could definitely be worse.

Who needs Cornwall?                

 

    Words by Kevin Parker, Pics by Bryan Johnson